COLUMBIA, Sc. (AP) – Once known for his prime-time wit, Steven Orr Spurrier has found the magic spark again. In a Saturday morning press conference, the Ol’ Ball Coach made a strong case against the notion that he's just a kind old man these days. Spurrier, the legendary Florida Gators coach - as hated in the 1990's for his humorous verbal jabs as for his embarrassing 50-point beatdowns - had mellowed in recent years. But late Saturday morning, he was once again in rare form.

When asked a question about Phil Fulmer, Spurrier began the press conference by unleashing the kind of trademark wit he was known for as a much younger man. “You can’t spell ‘Phil Fulmer’ without ‘full’,” he said. “And if he ever got that way, he wouldn’t look like Ruben Studdard covered in talcum powder.”

Spurrier then grabbed the mike and stood up from the podium, walking back and forth on stage and drawing the attention of the 30-plus reporters in the room. “And what is the deal with Tim Tebow,” Spurrier said. “Look kid: are you gay or what? Just tell us. One minute, we all hear your lisp and go ‘Well this guy’s a fanny pack away from being grand wizard of the pole patrol.’ And the next minute we see you on the ‘net hugging a pair of jugs so big they make Fulmer look like a C-Cup.”

When asked about new Alabama coach Nick Saban’s near-legendary work habits, Spurrier laughed. “Yea,” he said. “Whistle while you work, right? So where are the other six dwarfs?”

Asked to comment on Tommy Tuberville, Spurrier at first jumped in. “Tommy?” he said. “Can that guy even pull himself out of bed since they fired Mike Shula?” The coach then relented. “Well, you gotta be careful what you say about ol’ Tommy,” he said. “Because with them satellite ears of his, he doesn’t need to rely on the morning paper.”

Asked to comment on Houston Nutt’s alleged off season affair, Spurrier did not let up. “I mean, while Paris Hilton was filming ‘The Simple Life’ all over Arkansas, why didn’t these two get together?” he said. “She could’ve have plopped her little sidekick out, shot Nicole Richie a text message to bring over the night vision, and the next thing you know, ol’ Houston’s living up to his last name.”

When asked about the possible backlash his comments could have, Spurrier replied “If I had a hamburger for every time I called Phil Fulmer big, I wouldn’t have any room to make fun of him for being such a remarkable fat ass.”

When parts of his 20-minute press conference fell dull, Spurrier wrote it off to him “trying new material.” He did not address off-season rumors that had him hiring a team of comedy writers to help him regain his stature as the SEC’s reigning jokester.